Once your child expresses frustration, validate that you hear them in a way that doesn't make them feel embarrassed for speaking out or defensive - no one likes to be called out.

The conversation may start in a way such as "I wanted to talk with you because sometimes things in life can be so hard. Whether it's cooking, playing soccer, or reading - sometimes things can be hard."

Note: if the child says "it's not hard for me," that is okay - you can respond with "Oh good. Well I had some thoughts about life that I wanted to share with you."

Then continue, "so...you know how everyone's brain is different and has different skills? Well, sometimes when something is challenging, it makes me think about how some things just seem to be so easy for other people and how other people just seem to be so good them. For example, Mia Hamm - she is an amazing soccer player! Or think of Granny - she is an amazing cook. I have to try so hard to cook things that taste good. My sister is just like her and can cook things so easily. Who is someone who you can think of who seems to do something so easily and is so good at it?"

Wait for child to respond by identifying things that some people are good at. If they can't think of anyone, provide another example of two and then just continue.

Having them express their feelings rather than repeating to them what they told you will help them not feel attacked. It makes for more of a conversation. If they don't bring up reading, then you can phrase it in a way such as "one thing you mentioned one time was that reading can be hard. Is that still something you feel is true?"

If the child doesn't want to bring it up or contribute to this part of the conversation, just move on & continue the conversation.

"Sometimes it can be so frustrating when trying to do something that is hard. It often makes me think "How did these people get like that? How did these people get so good at their skill of ________." How do you think they get so good at it?"

Wait for the child's responses.

If they respond, validate their answer as best as can.

Continue the conversation... "yes, working hard helps people get good at a skill. Then that skill become easier. That makes me think of when I was first learning to ride my bike as a kid. It was so so hard and I remember being so proud of myself when I went around the neighborhood for the first time without training wheels. Now, riding a bike without training wheels is no problem. Is there a time when you've been proud of yourself for doing something?"